Nora Ephron

I didn't really know who Nora Ephron was until she died (though I'd seen most of her movies), and I've been catching up since then. Today, I read Lena Dunham's 2012 essay, Seeing Nora Everywhere, in the New Yorker. Wow.

I loved her propensity for asking a question when she already knew the correct answer but wanted to let you make a tiny fool of yourself. The best example of this was when we were discussing a popular book and she earnestly asked, “Did you think that was a good book?” I said, “Well, yes,” before Nora came back, sharply, with “It wasn’t.” I later told this story onstage with her, and she laughed as though she knew it was one of her most awesome tricks.

This is why feminism matters

I love the blog Girl's Gone Child. (I started reading way before Clara was born.) I've embraced the free form/stream of consciousness style of writing because many of the topics are so emotional – I'm not sure there's a better way to write them. From a recent post:

Fable, without even realizing she had done so, had accepted that there would be times when what she wore and did and represented would cause some to want to touch, take and dismantle... but instead of wearing a higher-cut top or a quieter color trading in the light-up lunch box for something that would perhaps garner less attention, keep the boys from hitting, help her stay anonymous in the crowd, she stood up. She stood up to them and she stood up to me and she said the word that I struggled so hard to say as a child, a teenager, a young woman, and even now.

She said no. 

"This is my lunch box. I love this lunch box. I chose this lunch box. They're the ones who need to STOP. Not me." 

I wanted to wake her up and tell her how right she was. I wanted to thank her for showing ME what it means to be a sister, and a feminist and an individual who knows how to say NO to those who are challenging her RIGHT to say YES. 

"THIS is why feminism matters..." 

Because saying NO to others is not enough sometimes. We need comrades and partners, sisters and brothers, friends and family to help us raise the volume, build our muscles, dance our dance... 

The American Dream

Look at this perfect comment from Apartment Therapy about home ownership and sharing a house. It's almost as if I wrote it, with gems like this:

"We made a point to buy a sturdy home in a great location (near a downtown, near a hospital, near schools, near grocery stores, decent yard). It's now our "manor" and we've adopted the aristocratic thinking of stewardship. This house isn't a possession anymore, it's a responsibility and privilege and something we're entrusted to care for." 

And this:

"We realized that a lot of the values we grew up with were built by a individualistic society and a consumer/service economy. Or that one could just buy and toss at a whim. Now we'd like to transition, through home ownership, to a more thoughtful and communal dream."

Multigenerational Living

I'm here to tell you Michael and I bought a house with my parents, and I may or may not collect some thoughts about the experience. On this blog. You never know.

For starters, I love these tips from The New York Times, especially:

"Figure out what is family time, personal time and big extended family time. For instance, we like to all have dinner together a few nights a week but my daughter, husband and I still want a few nights just to ourselves."

Fred Stoller

There's this stand-up comedian whose career I've been inadvertently following.

I first saw him while watching a VHS tape of a stand-up show in a friend's basement, and I loved him. That was a good 20 years ago, and I still remember a joke about using keys as a self-defence weapon, and how that doesn't work with modern hotel keys that look like credit cards.

Maybe you had to see it.

He would pop up as a guest star in random sitcoms, and every time I saw him (because, yes, I love sitcoms) I was happy to see that he was still around. But I never noted his name. Never looked him up on IMDB, once that became a thing that we did.

And then last week I was listening to my favourite CBC Radio show, Wiretap, and I heard his unmistakable voice, and I found out that his name is Fred Stoller. This, in itself, was a treat, but the story he shares is just so beautiful. I think you should check it out.

100% perfect

Haruki Murakami: On seeing the 100% perfect girl one beautiful April morning:

"Yesterday on the street I passed the 100% perfect girl," I tell someone.

"Yeah?" he says. "Good-looking?"

"Not really."

I still haven't finished reading Murakami's latest novel, but he's a favorite author, and this is a favorite short story.